“Upon arriving at BTT, I immediately fit in, and I was battling for alpha-male position again when I attended my first SOS meeting. Having been told it was a lot like church, I was instantly skeptical about the program. I decide on going because it was a way to leave BTT, not because I had any particular interest in improving myself. Upon arrival, I was disappointed to see that is was not the vacation I had anticipated. I am a fairly good judge of character, and I quickly decided that it was unwise to act up in front of the instructor, Mr. Carter, so I decided to sit back and relax.

Within the fist 30 minutes of the session, I was in shock. I was shocked to have all my views and images of my culture blown apart. I was shocked to hear that the way I had been acting was not even remotely related to my culture. I threw out what I thought were a few intelligent questions and comments defending my actions, and promptly had them demolished. Mr. Carter now firmly held my attention, and I decided I had better just listen. I left that day with a lot to think about, and a lot of questions to answer.

Two weeks later I was back at SOS, anxiously waiting for it to start. I had thought about what I had been told in the last session, and I did not like the results. I was forced to look at my peer’s actions, and my own actions in a whole new light. I did not like what I saw. Being slightly stubborn, I came prepared with questions that I knew would throw Mr. Carter off. I felt these were complicated questions, and I had spent two thoughtful weeks developing them. I was positive that I would find a hole in his logic. I waited until he was at the heart of his sermon before I pulled the trigger. The manner in which he briefly thought, and then answered as if it was the most obvious thing in the world really threw me off. After a smart argument in which I found myself playing devil’s advocate, Mr. Carter made a statement that I will never forget. He said, “If you really believe what you’re saying, then I feel sorry for you because you must be one unhappy brother.” I left SOS that day more angry and embarrassed than I had been in a long time. I was angry because I could accept love or hate, but I couldn’t handle pity. I was embarrassed because not only did I know he was right, but he knew that I knew he was right.

After a few months, I found SOS taking an authoritative position in my life. I eagerly learned everything I could from Mr. Carter, and I slowly started implementing this into who I was. I found that these changes fit me much better, and that I was making conscious changes in my decisions and how I presented myself.”